Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Forward Thinking

I have been terribly neglectful of my blog lately.  That’s no way to build up an army of loyal readers and cheerleaders, now is it?  I have actually wanted to find the time to write, and thought of it longingly almost every day, but I have simply been overwhelmed lately.  I am sure most readers can identify with the busies keeping us from things we want to do for ourselves.
Biggest on my mind lately is my job search.  The movers will be here in like---oh, 17 days and I have no job.  Much of my extra time lately has been devoted to scanning various web sites for jobs, composing cover letters and filling out applications. (Which, by the way, drive me bonkers…SEE RESUME!)  I have hardly been sleeping…too distracted by all that is happening around me.  I usually nod off around 10:30 to 11, only to awaken for a good think around 1 am for at least an hour.  My alarm, set for 4:55 rarely goes off, because I am staring at the ceiling at 4 AM and crawling out of bed before it can ring.  I only wish the gym opened before 5:30.
I was very successful with the #7daychip program until Easter.  Then I tried to get back on over and over again, followed by frustration and going food-wild for about a week.  I am happy to report that today, I am back in control.  I am going to stick to my eating plan very closely at least until I meet with my trainer a week from Thursday.  I want to show some progress and I know if I stick to the plan for 10 days, it will put another dent in my weight loss (at least I hope so) so I have something to show for the six weeks between our meetings.
The weeks ahead of me are a bit scary though—when I consider keeping it in-control, food wise.  As I announce my departure around town, everyone seems to want to take me for a meal or a drink.  Wouldn’t it be great is someone said, “I am going to miss you, let’s do Zumba together before you leave!”  Ha.  Of course in all honesty, I want to linger over a martini with friends, eat a meal at my favorite restaurant in town with people I care about.  On top of the “good byes” I am faced with many celebrations at work.  I work in higher education and as the semester wraps up, there are several celebrations in the very near future, all surrounding food.  I can think of four in the next ten days, and that is not an all-inclusive list.
At these said good byes, and thanks for a great year soirees, I am going to be that annoying girl who orders off menu, or eats a side salad.  I have to.  I am within 16 lbs of losing 100 lbs since March of last year.  That celebration will be so much sweeter than any tasty dish or super margarita that will pass under my nose over the next few weeks.  Then I can focus on the next milestone—100 lbs since officially counting and the start of my fitness journey in January.
Must remember, eat like a princess, not a beast.
Image is Disney's.

Despite my wandering diet, I have remained true to my exercise plan.  I’d like to think that it has become a habit, with me forever.  However, I know better.  I am aware, that my brain program is preferential to the couch, and sleeping in, and I am going to have to work at this every day for the rest of my life.  I have been sneaking in a 2nd workout at night whenever possible, which has been good for my calorie burn.  I am excited to recently begin to see traces of my legs.  I have great legs under there, I almost forgot.  They are beginning to rise out of the flab.  I was supposed to participate in a marathon relay this past weekend, but was sorely disappointed to rise Saturday morning to find that my teammates were unable to make it happen.  That was really the only day I let an external force keep me from doing my workout.  I was bummed out, maybe a little angry and decided if I couldn’t do the relay than I wasn’t doing anything.  How stupid.  I knocked sense into myself by Sunday AM though, and made myself sweat twice as hard.
So glancing through this rant, it all seems very whiny.  But these are my challenges and at times they overwhelm me.  However, I also am about to open a new chapter in my life.  I am very excited as I look forward, so please don’t get the impression that I am a wailing Eyeore.  I am very anxious and excited, and tempted by old coping methods—sleeping, eating, and drinking adult beverages.  Resisting those now, while I know they are the right choice, adds to the anxiety level.  But I have plenty of moments too, when I glance down in the mirror at my ever firming, toning legs and am excited knowing they are going to carry me through my next, new adventure.  And they will look good doing it.
PS:  Forgive me if my loyalty to the blog is low for a while.  I am quite certain I will be busy driving to interviews and such almost any day now, which could keep me from finding time to write.  Right?